kwxba

Now, I think back on the countless moments I spent being present and showing up with regret. I’m left in the company of people I’m afraid of. For I know now, what I didn’t know, all those moments I was present. For I question now, what I should have questioned, all those moments I was present. I’m moving on, slowly.

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Today
Felt like hunger
It felt like my legs after a day of standing
Like the afternoon air in a crowded matatu

Today
Felt like dining hall food
It felt like a summer afternoon class
Like an empty home on a Sunday afternoon

Today
Felt like the last day of a holiday
Before school could pull me
From another unfinished project

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Today

Smelt like the weed from last night

Like sweat

Like anxiety

And the exam I said I’d take last night

Today

Felt like the sun pouring in through my window

Like the warm air that was uncomfortable to breathe

It felt like commitments and expectations

Like focus

Today

Felt like a love poem

It warmed me

Held me

Better than yesterday ever could

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kwxba

kwxba

Exploring sexual citizenship, gender and sexuality, men and masculinities, and the temporal understanding of African identities